Posted on Tuesday, 21st April 2009 by simonhg

Dear Macks,

I’m in love with a stripper. Yeah, I know, I’m probably asking for trouble (and a depleted bank account). Seriously though, she’s a really cool chick. The problem is, she’s got another guy in her life that she can’t shake.

They dated for years, broke up a bunch of times, got back together, broke up “for good” when she busted him sleeping with her best friend… and now, while I’m trying to get something going with her, I suspect she might still be seeing him on the side.

I’m a good guy. I treat women with respect. But this keeps happening to me. The girls I dig always seem to have a thing for creeps. 

 >>> My Comments:

This is a question we get all the time. What is it about “jerks” and “creeps” that hot women find so alluring? With so many nice guys out there willing to treat them like princesses, why do they get so deeply attached to “bad boys?”

What you need to understand is, women aren’t attracted to the fact that these men are self-centered or arrogant. They’re attracted, on an deep subconscious level, to certain BEHAVIORIAL traits that bad boys exhibit.

Here are the big three:

Bad Boys are independent.

They lead their own lives and fit women into their schedule, not the other way around. Women, by nature, want what they can’t have–and bad boys present a challenge and sense of mystery.

Bad Boys are decisive.

They’re never wishy-washy. Women love a man who isn’t afraid to lead; a leader who confronts situations is a man who is capable of fulfilling the most core female need, which is to feel protected. You’ll never hear a bad boy say, “So do you want to hang out sometime?” Or, “what do you feel like doing
tonight?” Bad boys are men on the move. They’ve always got plans in motion. And women want to go along for the ride.

Bad boys don’t wear their emotions on their sleeve.

Aristotle, a mack among ancient Greek philosophers, once said: “He who confesses first, loses.” Pouring out your feelings to a girl might seem like a sweet romantic gesture, but in reality it usually blows you out of the water.

When a girl hasn’t made up her mind about you, and you make it clear you’re totally into her, you seem needy and you’re no longer a challenge. Bad boys keep women guessing: is he really into me, or is he playing games? How many other girls does he have in his life right now? This triggers the female competitive instinct and makes them want a guy that much more. 

The Mack is essentially a nice guy with a “bad boy edge” to his personality. Respect women, treat them right, but understand how to trigger the same female instincts that bad boys use to drive women wild.

(The ‘secrets’ are all in the black book here):

>>> Question From KJ

I asked a dancer out recently and she told me she wasn’t ready to date anyone new. She explained that her ex, Tony, was a psycho and she had to get a restraining order on him. How can I convince her I’m nothing like Tony?

 >>> My Comments:

First off, never refer to her ex by name. Refer to him as “that guy.” This dimishes his significance. Saying his name out loud, when talking about him with her, triggers emotions and memories. 

While you never want to get into extended discussions with women about their ex-boyfriends–you want to keep things focused on the present, and on you and her–knowing the types of guys she’s dated in the past can provide valuable Intell.

This is especially true when she dated a wack dude, since you can now present yourself as the opposite of him.

There are three main categories of wack ex-boyfriends:

1 – The Stalker.

When the relationship ended, this pathetic head case couldn’t let go. When macking a girl who had a stalker ex, you must present yourself as the “anti stalker.” Be extra careful about saying or doing anything that show “clinginess.”

Don’t accompany her everywhere. If you call her to chat, she should be the one calling you next time. When she calls you to invite you out, don’t always accept the invite. Try saying, “I’m just going to chill tonight. You go ahead and have a girl’s night out. Have a great time. Call me tomorrow and let me know how it went.”

Make it a habit to give her space and let her know you’ve got other things going on in your life–unlike the stalker, whose entire world revolved around her.

2 – The Loser.

He was broke, couldn’t hold a job, or simply had no ambitions or direction in life. Become the opposite in her eyes by mentioning things, or goals in your life that you are passionate about. Women are turned on by passionate men. It’s a quality that losers lack. 

3 – The Commitaphobe.

This guy refused to commit to her. Maybe he dumped her at the altar; maybe he was never willing to be monogamous. With this type of girl, demonstrate how important commitment is to you.

Use the word. Don’t say “I’d love to have my own business someday.” Say, “I’m very commited to launching my own business soon.” Don’t say, “I’m close with my family.” Say, “I’m really committed to my family. They’ve always been there for me, and I’m always there for them.” A guy who values commitment is a guy she can imagine being commited to her.
Also, no matter how much of a jackass her ex-boyfriend sounds like, refrain from making disaparaging comments about him.

Remember, at one point in time she had serious feelings for him. Dissing him is basically the same as dissing her, and her judgement. Instead, make him seem irrelevant and not even worth discussing. “It sounds like that guy didn’t appreciate all the great things I’m seeing in you.”

Then move the conversation onto a more pleasant topic. Keep things focused on the present and on future possibilities. “That guy” is boring, irrelevant, ancient history.

A final notes on exes: whenever the topic comes up, women are invariably going to ask you about your romantic past and “what happened” between you and your ex. This is a minefield you do not want to stumble into. No matter how it ended between you and your ex, your explanation is probably going to make you look bad. If she was a nutcase, then it makes you look like you’ve got terrible taste in women.

If she dumped you, it makes you look lame. And if you broke up with her, for whatever reason, it makes you look callous.

Just give a vague answer about your past relationship and reinforce in her mind that you’re both unattached now–and that the future is wide open. “We had a lot of good times together, but in the end, it just wasn’t meant to be.

I think it’s a good thing that you and me are both single now, and back on the scene.”

Now, move the conversation onto a fun topic that leaves the exes in the past–where they belong.

…are you with me here?

Right now you’re probably thinking to yourself:

“Wow, that’s interesting. I sure wish there was a resource available that could show me hundreds of great ideas like that… so I could know exactly what to do from when I first meet these types of women (exotic dancers, strippers, basically SUPER attra.ctive women who get hit on by men A LOT)  to the first date… all the way up until we get physical and beyond…”

Guess what?

It’s right here:



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